An Abrupt end to the Baby Trail

I arrived at the clinic by myself. Jet had a meeting to attend. I waited patiently for my turn. Finally, I saw the gynae and explained my situation to him. He even gave a hopeful comment saying that I could be pregnant already. Impossible, I told him as I had already done a pregnancy test a few days ago. I asked for a sonogram as I wanted to make sure that everything was fine inside.

Cautiously I climbed onto the retractable bed that all gynaes use. The doctor spreaded some transparent gel on my tummy and started peering into my inner world. It was an undecipherable image made up of black and white patches. After examining the image for a while, the doctor said that you have an ovarian cyst here, then his cursor hovered over this dark blotch. My world crumbled. How could it be? I did not suffer from any pain or whatsoever. I asked him to check again. He even measured it this time. It was a good 6.5cm by 5.5 cm about the size of a mandarin orange! How can I get pregnant with this orange sitting on my ovary or even blocking my fallopian tube. What if my ovarian and tubes had already withered away with this thing crushing on them and cutting away oxygen supply?

Tears was stinging at the back of my eyes, as I tried to keep my composure. I could see my baby dreams dashed. I tried to ask a few rational questions like what's in the cyst and what I needed to do next. I even forgot to ask which ovary was it. Apparently the cyst was filled with fluid as it was a dark patch, unlike the solid or flesh which is shown as white in the sonogram. He predicted that it could be due to my body's reaction to the clomid. Probably my egg was not expelled out of the follicle properly and had continued to grow into a cyst. All we could do is monitor the size of it again after my menstruation. He gave me a jab of progesterone which left my butt and leg aching for the rest of the day.

If it was not due to clomid, it could have been there for sometime. I recalled the dull aching pain I get sometimes just before my menstruation. This cycle, I experienced sharp pain once or twice a day during the third and fourth week up to now. The night before I had the pain 3 times in the night. It lasted for about 7 seconds each time. That's when I felt something could be wrong.

After I left the clinic, I called my husband who was in a meeting. We did not talk much. Then I called my buddy, Claren and told her about the cyst. This time I could no long hold back my tears and tears rolled freely down my cheeks, oblivious to the curious stares of passer-bys. They must be thinking,"bad breakup" or "mayber someone just passed away".... they would never expect that I have a mandarin orange inside me. I felt miserable. She comforted me and told me that it was very common among women of my age to have cyst. It was in fact a blessing for me to discover now when it is still early. I felt slightly better after talking to her and I called my mum to inform her that her 'grandchild dream' for this year is dashed.

When my husband found out, he was very concerned and we did some research on the Internet about cysts. There are actually many different type of cysts. One of the useful sites was: http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/ovariancysts/a/ovariancysts.htm . I really hope that mine is a functional cyst and it will be gone soon. Doctor said that I may need to go for laparascopy if the cyst remains big or grows after my menses. I am keeping my fingers crossed.