Nasty hives

 

My poor Ryan with hives. Hope that he recovers really soon. 

Fast forward...One and a half years later...

Well, I must admit that for the past one and half years, I had been so engrossed in my pregancy, work and motherhood that I had neglected my blog. But not to worry, I am back with new found energy. I hope to update my blog more frequently now that my son is bigger. He turns one year old today! I am so glad that this day finally has come.

I kinda miss those days before he learnt how to walk...hee...it is so easy to leave him in his cot and go off to do my stuff. Now, it is practically impossible! I have to follow him around just to make sure that he is safe. It is no joke! However, at the same time, it is amazing to watch babies grow. They just can do certain things once they are ready for it.... flipping, sitting, crawling...walking and talking!

When I have time I will rewind a little bit to write on the bits of stuff that had happened during his first year...if I still remember...

Ryan's first birthday celebration

A lazy stretch that sent me to the operating theatre

On the lazy Saturday morning, I was lazing on my bed. I thought maybe I should sleep a little more since I had been plagued by fatigue for the whole week..... nights of interrupted sleep due to frequent toilet trips......I stretched lazily on the bed...and there was a weird sensation. It was different from the sharp pain that I felt before or the menstrual cramps that I had. This time, it was a consistent dull pain on the right side of my tummy. Very soon, the pain spreaded down to my hips and thighs, and even to my back. I laid uncomfortably in bed waiting for the pain to go away, but it didn't.

I woke my husband up and we decided that if the pain still persist for another 15 mins, we would go see my gynae. The pain did not stop even after we reached my gynae's clinic. It was quite unbearable then....neither sitting down, standing up or lying down made me feel better. The cyst was still intact in my tummy when the doctor did an ultrasound scan.

It was then the doctor suggested that I should probably remove it on the same day as it was causing me pain. I was terrified and in a dilemma as any operation would mean a high chance of abortion as my pregnancy was still in the first trimester. I knew that I needed to take the risk as the pain worsens. The doctor gave me a jab of progesterone to stablise the pregnancy. It was the most painful jab that I had ever taken in my life!

By 1.30pm, my husband gave me a tender, loving kiss on my cheeks and off I was wheeled into the operating theatre. I could not wear my spectacles, so everything I saw was in a blur. Nurses and doctors kindly enquired about my condition as they began to get ready for the operation. This is my first time in the hospital undergoing an operation. The wait before the operation was an excruciating experience. Apart from the pain from the cyst, I was overwhelmed with anxiety on the effects of the operation and anesthesia on my baby. I made an effort to tell all the doctors who would be helping me that I was 7 weeks pregnant.... just to make sure that they know.

While waiting, I saw newborns being carried out and placed on a weighing machine nearby. They are so tiny!!! The soft cries of the baby makes me wish that I was there for cesaeran instead.... I wish I could hear the soft cries of my baby too in seven month's time.

At 2.00pm, my handsome anaesthetist came by to say hi. My fatherly-looking gynae reassured me that it would be a very short process. He would be making a 5 cm slit on my tummy and he would find the 8cm cyst, puncture it, drain away the fluid, pull it out, cut it away and sew me up. Sounds simple enough, I felt I could even operate on myself. As reassuring and as confident as he sounded, tears started to well up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away as I did not want to appear like a big baby.

I was wheeled into a vacant room with huge lights overhead. My anaesthetist held me hand and started to search for the teeny weeny little vein for him to poke to fix the drips. "Piak...piak" he tapped my hand. He let me squeeze something to get the veins out....after quite a while, finally, the elusive vein popped up and he poked me and attached the drips. He said, "You never do housework izzit? You can go model for those hand advertisement, you know?" I smiled.

He then gently placed a rubber mask over my face and told me to think of happy things. In my heart, I prayed hard and hoped that Buddha would help me get through this ordeal smoothly. Slowly I inhaled the gas, it smelled like lemon. By the 4th or 5th time, I could feel my eyeballs roll backwards and I was falling into a deep slumber.

A short while later, I heard noises around me. "Let her rest in the recovery room first..." I tried to lift my heavy eyelids to see the surroundings and tell them that I was conscious. My doctor was with me and reassured me once more. I was sleeping like a baby afterwards.

When I had awokened, I was already in my ward. My parents and my husband were already there. They told me that everything was ok and the baby is fine. My husband even tried to describe the cyst that was taken out to me. I was relieved.

I realised that my wound was still very painful and told the nurse to give me more painkillers. I felt weird as I did not feel hungry at all even though I did not eat the whole day. I was totally immobilised on the bed. I had a catheter attached to me. It felt really weird as I did not feel like I needed to go to the toilet at all. But before I know it, I saw a nurse emptying a jar full of urine from my bag...hmm...how interesting... to pee and not feel it at all!

Hmm... on hindsight, cesaeran birth is really quite a easy way to have a baby. No labour pains, episiotomy or epidural needed....just sleep and baby comes out. No wonder so many people go for it.

Anyway, I laid obediently in bed for the next two days. Doctor allowed me to discharge the following Monday as I was recovering well. I had to learn how to get out of the bed without using my stomach muscles. Just to ensure that baby was still well, I went for another scan again before I was discharged. This time, there isn't any more ominous looking balloon hanging over the womb and baby. The baby's heart was thumping and it had grown to more than 1.3 cm. I was so relieved!

Although the scary operation was over, I still had to return to the clinic twice a week for progesterone jabs, to keep the pregancy going. I have no qualms about it as long as it was good for the baby.

I am really thankful for my experienced gynae, anaesthetist and supportive family and friends who had helped me through this crisis.

The Drama Unfolds...

Just as I was keeping my fingers crossed, praying hard that the cyst will stop growing and start shrinking so as to make room for my little one to grow...... On and off during the week, I had menstrual cramps and occasionally sharp pain in the tummy especially at the end of the day. Initially I shrugged it off thinking that the pain was due to the expanding uterus. However, upon the kind reminder of my colleague, I decided to call up my gynae to double check. My doctor summoned me to the clinic and told me that those could be signs of threatened abortion. My heart missed a beat..... Immediately, I dropped the work I had at hand and went to see him.

Fortunately after some scanning, the embryo was still surviving well. He warned me to be extra vigilant about such sensations as I should not be feeling anything in my tummy during the first trimester. I had MC on the last day of school before the one-week March holidays began. I thought that it would be a good time for me to rest during this short break.

Surprise!!!

Life is full of surprises! This couldn't have been more true during my rollercoaster ride in the past week. After close to another week of waiting in agony, I decided to see another gynae from Gleneagles recommended by my friend this time.

The doctor gave me a sonogram and there underneath the large cyst, there was a tiny black patch in the uterus area. It was a tiny gestation sac. "Congratulations! You are pregnant!" doc exclaimed. I was in a state of shock! That explains all that is happening to me......feeling hungry all the time, sudden craving for food, bloatedness from indigestions and so forth. Based on the size of the gestation sac, I was already six weeks pregnant. The little embryo has heart beat. It was amazing to see the throbbing little white patch. This confirmed the existence of a little life in my tummy. My life is about to change irreversibly!!! I was filled with excitement and apprehension.

So how will my large cyst affect the pregnancy was the biggest question in my mind. The doctor advised against any operation in the first trimester as the fetus was not developed yet. The second trimester would be good for the operation to remove the cyst as the major organs of the baby would have been developed then. I went home and did some research on the Internet to find out more. The advice given by the doctors were more or less the same. I also checked out the effect of any form of anesthesia on the babies brain development. I realised that any form of anesthesia could potentially affect the baby's brain development adversely.

I shall pray hard for my cyst to reduce in size so that I would not need to undergo any operation during my pregnancy. I am looking forward to my next appointment with my gynae next week.

Photo Gallery

Due to the nature of my job, I was unable to travel much. Prior to my current job, I was travelling more often. Here's the link to a photo gallery of mine. Click on this link: http://janicetraveltales.blogspot.com . Enjoy!

This is mini me. Look that that chubby legs! Fortunately my legs are no longer like this!

Day Seven after Jab

It has been seven days. Nothing is happening. It is ABNORMAL!!! By now, I should have gotten my menses!!!! but it is not happening. I wonder why?

I called the doctor to check. I will have to see him next week. Could it be due to all these stress? I don't know. I wish I knew.

Anyways, last week I went to the temple to pray. I picked out the one of the pink packets, that was supposed to tell you about the new year. Well, I got "qian2 cheng2 guang1 ming2" meaning a bright future. I hope that it refers to my health!

An Abrupt end to the Baby Trail

I arrived at the clinic by myself. Jet had a meeting to attend. I waited patiently for my turn. Finally, I saw the gynae and explained my situation to him. He even gave a hopeful comment saying that I could be pregnant already. Impossible, I told him as I had already done a pregnancy test a few days ago. I asked for a sonogram as I wanted to make sure that everything was fine inside.

Cautiously I climbed onto the retractable bed that all gynaes use. The doctor spreaded some transparent gel on my tummy and started peering into my inner world. It was an undecipherable image made up of black and white patches. After examining the image for a while, the doctor said that you have an ovarian cyst here, then his cursor hovered over this dark blotch. My world crumbled. How could it be? I did not suffer from any pain or whatsoever. I asked him to check again. He even measured it this time. It was a good 6.5cm by 5.5 cm about the size of a mandarin orange! How can I get pregnant with this orange sitting on my ovary or even blocking my fallopian tube. What if my ovarian and tubes had already withered away with this thing crushing on them and cutting away oxygen supply?

Tears was stinging at the back of my eyes, as I tried to keep my composure. I could see my baby dreams dashed. I tried to ask a few rational questions like what's in the cyst and what I needed to do next. I even forgot to ask which ovary was it. Apparently the cyst was filled with fluid as it was a dark patch, unlike the solid or flesh which is shown as white in the sonogram. He predicted that it could be due to my body's reaction to the clomid. Probably my egg was not expelled out of the follicle properly and had continued to grow into a cyst. All we could do is monitor the size of it again after my menstruation. He gave me a jab of progesterone which left my butt and leg aching for the rest of the day.

If it was not due to clomid, it could have been there for sometime. I recalled the dull aching pain I get sometimes just before my menstruation. This cycle, I experienced sharp pain once or twice a day during the third and fourth week up to now. The night before I had the pain 3 times in the night. It lasted for about 7 seconds each time. That's when I felt something could be wrong.

After I left the clinic, I called my husband who was in a meeting. We did not talk much. Then I called my buddy, Claren and told her about the cyst. This time I could no long hold back my tears and tears rolled freely down my cheeks, oblivious to the curious stares of passer-bys. They must be thinking,"bad breakup" or "mayber someone just passed away".... they would never expect that I have a mandarin orange inside me. I felt miserable. She comforted me and told me that it was very common among women of my age to have cyst. It was in fact a blessing for me to discover now when it is still early. I felt slightly better after talking to her and I called my mum to inform her that her 'grandchild dream' for this year is dashed.

When my husband found out, he was very concerned and we did some research on the Internet about cysts. There are actually many different type of cysts. One of the useful sites was: http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/ovariancysts/a/ovariancysts.htm . I really hope that mine is a functional cyst and it will be gone soon. Doctor said that I may need to go for laparascopy if the cyst remains big or grows after my menses. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Baby Trail....Hopeful....

I had just finished reading "Baby Trail" by Sinead Moriarty. It is an entertaining book for those who could empathise with baby trailers, but for those outside this circle, perhaps, you will find it rather silly. I enjoyed it. For that, I have to thank my friend, Claren for lending it to me.

Like the main character in the story, I had began charting my basal temperature relentlessly for about 3 months. Basal temperature is the temperature of our body at rest and it can only be measured accurately after 7/8 hour of sleep. Well, that was not too difficult, just sticking a $20 thermometer into your mouth when you are half awake and wait until it beeps. Then read the temperature and go back to sleep again. hmm... not too difficult, except for forgetting to record it afterwards, or even totally forgetting the temperature after the 2nd round of sound sleeping.

So I charted patiently... as expected, it was an ultra long cycle for me cos I am totally abnormal when it comes to this monthly menstruation! Mine is never regular. It stretches from 35 days to 100 over days. Well that's good when you are not trying to make babies, but it is bad news when you are trying to make one. When is the egg ready to be fertilised? Thinking that tracking my basal temperature will be a perfect solution for me, which requires no medication, I started the daily routine in December 05.

After 45 days, I tried to make sense of my temperature chart. It was a series of peaks and troughs except for an increase towards then end of the cycle. Well, I showed it to a chinese physician that I was consulting, we could only guess the exact ovulation day. We suspected that I might not be ovulating at all!

I made an appointment with a doctor in a women's hospital and poured out my problems to him. He prescribed me Clomiphene, as the drug was supposed to help me ovulate. I anxiously waited for my next menstruation so that I could pop the pills into my mouth.

Days passed, my temperature chart was not showing any signs of ovulation. Day 28 passed by, and I still have not gotten my menstruation. Patiently I waited, until Day 43. I felt that I really needed to do something about it. I picked out a women's clinic from the Ministry of Health website and made an appointment.

My First Post

This is my very first post on my blog. I wonder if anyone would be interested to read the stuff which I will be posting in this blog. Even if no one reads this, it will be definitely an interesting read for myself a few years down the road. After all, my memory seems to be getting poorer, this blog will serve to help me remember the memorable bits of my life. :-)

Just to introduce myself, I am a twenty-eight year old, happily married for close to two years. My husband, Jet and I have no children yet. We do hope to have two in the next few years. I hope our wish will be granted. :-) Yep, I believe that children are gifts from gods and I hope that we would be blessed enough to have them.